Does the thought of helping your children with their homework at night feel like you are requesting to have your fingernails pulled out?
My mom hated to help me with my homework. I was normally ushered to my room and told between complaints that I hadn't cleaned and done my chores properly, to "Give it another try".
Just the sheer excuse to avoid further critique of my dusting and vacuuming skills was enough for me to run to my room, and not come out for days.
To me homework was a way to escape and avoid confrontation...not the ideal version I want my kids to associate it with.
Thankfully, I have come to regard "homework" as life lessons at a micro level.
I make opportunities for my kids to see me read and enjoy learning new things. If my kids want to "see" what I am doing at the computer or while I am lounged with a book, article, etc in hand I try to remember to welcome them up into my lap to share it with them. Describe to them what I am doing/reading and then asking what they think. Sometimes we make up our own stories from that, sometimes my daughter runs to her work table to assemble a "book" and write herself, or sometimes the result is just sitting for a bit and snuggling (usually the last is my favorite!).
We have had moments of pure joy, affection, and learning moments together. Although my youngest still doesn't know how to read, he loves helping type and hearing about what I am reading about or doing.
Normally for him it doesn't last more than 6 minutes until he is ready to switch gears and run off to play golf, chase, bounce on his ball, or play his ukulele. But the moments we share in that 6 minutes to me are priceless.
We bond and I get to share with him one of my passions. In turn I'll notice him grab some of his books and head for his chair to "read" or pull out one of his activity books to practice.
I have always loved to work with my hands and create special gifts. One of the greatest gifts I have been given is when my kids want to do the same thing. Many people will comment to my daughter... "You are such the artist, just like your mom."
My daughter beams with pride. I know though, it isn't so much genetics as it is she has taken the time and opportunity to watch me do those same things and has mimicked me.
I do my best to allow her to participate when I can. If I am working on a piece for someone and she can't contribute on my work, I will give her something similar to try it out for herself.
I have been asked... "doesn't that get expensive?" The answer is yes if i were just considering the monetary value but a whole heartily "no" considering I am sharing my love with her and we are creating a cherished learning lesson and memory together.
Best wishes to you this holiday season. My hope is you will experience many moments of love, appreciation, joy, and opportunities of "learning life lessons"!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Gratitude: A Key To Kids' Success
Are you grateful? Really, are you grateful?
I had a conversation recently... how do we really show our gratitude, how do we really want to show our gratitude?
I am asking that question to myself, all the time, lately.
I am wondering if I am the person who I really want to be. Am I the role model I want for my children. Am I "showing" them how to be grateful and why?
This holiday season, I often get caught up in the rush to get things done because there is so much I want to do. So much I want to do with my kids. So much because I am telling myself and I know that message is getting reinforced by the media, friends, and the environment in general, that in order to have a fun and meaningful Christmas I have to do these things.
By "doing" all these things, am I really being "grateful"?
As I have time to reflect and disconnect from the urgency of the holiday season, I realize I am missing something.
I am missing the time to sit and snuggle with my kiddos, I am missing the rest, comfort, love and joy by sitting with loved ones at night and watching the snow fall and listening to holiday music.
I am missing the quiet and calmness of being together.
I think sometimes I get so busy trying to express my gratitude, I loose the message in the gratitude.
How about you?
I had a conversation recently... how do we really show our gratitude, how do we really want to show our gratitude?
I am asking that question to myself, all the time, lately.
I am wondering if I am the person who I really want to be. Am I the role model I want for my children. Am I "showing" them how to be grateful and why?
This holiday season, I often get caught up in the rush to get things done because there is so much I want to do. So much I want to do with my kids. So much because I am telling myself and I know that message is getting reinforced by the media, friends, and the environment in general, that in order to have a fun and meaningful Christmas I have to do these things.
By "doing" all these things, am I really being "grateful"?
As I have time to reflect and disconnect from the urgency of the holiday season, I realize I am missing something.
I am missing the time to sit and snuggle with my kiddos, I am missing the rest, comfort, love and joy by sitting with loved ones at night and watching the snow fall and listening to holiday music.
I am missing the quiet and calmness of being together.
I think sometimes I get so busy trying to express my gratitude, I loose the message in the gratitude.
How about you?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Kids' Keys To Be Successfully Safe While You Holiday Shop
One of the scariest scenarios I think about is loosing my child in the mall or store.
I think most parents fear the possibilities of abduction, kidnapping, and loss. The holiday season, even though it is filled with excitement, blessings, and fun can be a predator's gift wish.
Parents can be more distracted, more in need of "help", and more vulnerable to grooming.
The reason why I use the term "grooming" is because abductions, assaults, and the possible loss of your child is usually done by a person you know, such as acquaintances and even those whom you believe you can trust.
However, there are some simple measures to keep your kids safe during the hustle and bustle of life and holidays:
1. Slow Down - When you feel like you need to get "everything" done, make things "perfect" for the holidays, let that "rush" be a warning to back off and slow down. Let that feeling be a cerebral call to check the bigger picture. Tune into your kids... tune into their needs, not their holiday "wants".
2. Never Leave Your Child Alone Somewhere New or With Someone New. Always let them have access to you. This may seem simple and redundant but if you are visiting family and friends, it may appear to your child you are too busy to care what they are doing. Take stock and check-in. More than normal, keep the lines of communications open, extra open.
3. Always Take Your Child to the Bathroom. Many public places now have "family restrooms", use them! If they don't, don't hesitate to take your son into the ladies bathroom. I know it may seem over protective but unless you are confident in your son's demeanor (He must have a confident, "Stay Away" aura. It's better to be safe than sorry.
4. Talk To Your Children. Talk to them about what to do if a situation doesn't feel right. Remind them to ALWAYS trust their gut. There is no shame in being safe. No embarrassment too big to risk being hurt. Talk to your children about who to go to, who to look for if you aren't available.
If for instance, you are separated, your child becomes loss... (I'm not talking about to go to the nearest police officer or clerk in the store. Just because someone is in a uniform doesn't mean he/she can be trusted.) Never tell your child to "never" talk to strangers. We talk to strangers everyday. So when you child see you talk to strangers all it does is negate your warnings. Instead talk about who would be a "good" stranger to seek out and ask for help?
Do you know who that would be? That is right, someone just like you... a mom, preferably with her own kids. Moms have a sick sense for this, it is like an automatic tracking system. We notice if a child is unaccounted for and have the instincts needed to "protect" children.
Always ask store, park, mall security to "lock down" if you loose sight of your child as soon as you notice your child missing. The faster that this happens usually the better outcome.
Again, it is better to be a little embarrassed than it is to regret.
If you would like more information about the grooming behaviors of predators and how to keep you and your kids safe, visit http://www.kidskeystosuccess.com and sign up for my Parenting Leverage News.
I think most parents fear the possibilities of abduction, kidnapping, and loss. The holiday season, even though it is filled with excitement, blessings, and fun can be a predator's gift wish.
Parents can be more distracted, more in need of "help", and more vulnerable to grooming.
The reason why I use the term "grooming" is because abductions, assaults, and the possible loss of your child is usually done by a person you know, such as acquaintances and even those whom you believe you can trust.
However, there are some simple measures to keep your kids safe during the hustle and bustle of life and holidays:
1. Slow Down - When you feel like you need to get "everything" done, make things "perfect" for the holidays, let that "rush" be a warning to back off and slow down. Let that feeling be a cerebral call to check the bigger picture. Tune into your kids... tune into their needs, not their holiday "wants".
2. Never Leave Your Child Alone Somewhere New or With Someone New. Always let them have access to you. This may seem simple and redundant but if you are visiting family and friends, it may appear to your child you are too busy to care what they are doing. Take stock and check-in. More than normal, keep the lines of communications open, extra open.
3. Always Take Your Child to the Bathroom. Many public places now have "family restrooms", use them! If they don't, don't hesitate to take your son into the ladies bathroom. I know it may seem over protective but unless you are confident in your son's demeanor (He must have a confident, "Stay Away" aura. It's better to be safe than sorry.
4. Talk To Your Children. Talk to them about what to do if a situation doesn't feel right. Remind them to ALWAYS trust their gut. There is no shame in being safe. No embarrassment too big to risk being hurt. Talk to your children about who to go to, who to look for if you aren't available.
If for instance, you are separated, your child becomes loss... (I'm not talking about to go to the nearest police officer or clerk in the store. Just because someone is in a uniform doesn't mean he/she can be trusted.) Never tell your child to "never" talk to strangers. We talk to strangers everyday. So when you child see you talk to strangers all it does is negate your warnings. Instead talk about who would be a "good" stranger to seek out and ask for help?
Do you know who that would be? That is right, someone just like you... a mom, preferably with her own kids. Moms have a sick sense for this, it is like an automatic tracking system. We notice if a child is unaccounted for and have the instincts needed to "protect" children.
Always ask store, park, mall security to "lock down" if you loose sight of your child as soon as you notice your child missing. The faster that this happens usually the better outcome.
Again, it is better to be a little embarrassed than it is to regret.
If you would like more information about the grooming behaviors of predators and how to keep you and your kids safe, visit http://www.kidskeystosuccess.com and sign up for my Parenting Leverage News.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Summer Camps by Jeffrey Carter
Parents send their children to summer camps to have fun, to experience new activities, and maybe to see a different part of the country, but there are also some incredibly important, and lasting, benefits that campers enjoy. What can parents expect their children to gain from their summer camp experience beyond the razzle-dazzle entertainment? What will stick with your kids after camp and when they're back at home? Here are a few of the areas of self-development a summer camp experience can enhance.
Relating to others: Summer camps are highly social environments where everyone is a member of a close-knit community. At the same time, they are often quite diverse. Children will meet others from different families, from different parts of the country, even from abroad. They will also interact daily with children of different ages. These different backgrounds, values, habits and ways of living can be disconcerting at first, but with encouragement and guidance can really help a young person learn to get along with people. Another way to say this, is that by encountering kids who are "different" a child learns to see past those differences and become friends. Learning to relate like this makes it much easier to make friends later in life.
Developing Creativity: Most summer camps provide numerous opportunities to make things, to practice different crafts, and to explore the arts. From woodworking, to fiber arts, to ceramics, to knitting, to blacksmithing, and so on, there are fantastic ways to be creative. Plus, kids are encouraged to try new things, to not worry about how "good" they are, and to be excited about the process of participating. Everyone realizes that we can create some pretty cool stuff if we give it a try.
Self-Confidence: Summer camps are supportive places, communities where everyone will look out for each other, and usually encourage each other. This kind of positive peer relationship is the perfect recipe for trying new things and being proud of your accomplishments. Kids might think they won't be able to do something (like climb a ropes course, for example), but when they try and succeed, it's strong evidence that they can do it. Doubt is transformed into bravery, fear into confidence, and the result is an enhanced sense of self-worth.
Independence: It's almost inevitable when a child goes to camp and sleeps away from home, away from the watchful eye of his or her parents- she will gain greater independence. Kids at camp make a lot of their own decisions, make choices about what to do, how to behave, and how to spend their free time. Of course, they also get to see the consequences of their choices too, and when it's their choice and not their parents, those consequences are all the more meaningful.
Being suddenly responsible for their own choices, is a very formative experience in a growing habit of independence.
Social Etiquette: Being around so many people and interacting with them so closely day after day, summer camps also require kids to develop certain social skills. Sharing, recognizing others' interests, dealing with arguments, showing empathy, being kind, offering to help, making honest suggestions- all of these are key ingredients. Every quality summer camp will create an environment where all of this is fostered and taught.
Of course most of these areas can develop at home and at school during the year, but summer camp provides an opportunity to practice these qualities, develop these aspects of a child's personality, and further develop the mature skill that make them effective. It's really remarkable how powerful the summer camp experience is in this regard. Sure it's fun, but it can also be so crucially formative too.
Jeffrey Carter is the Director of Rockbrook Summer Camp for Girls, a traditional girls summer camp located in Brevard, NC. He publishes the summer camp blog "The Heart of a Wooded Mountain."
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeffrey_R_Carter
Relating to others: Summer camps are highly social environments where everyone is a member of a close-knit community. At the same time, they are often quite diverse. Children will meet others from different families, from different parts of the country, even from abroad. They will also interact daily with children of different ages. These different backgrounds, values, habits and ways of living can be disconcerting at first, but with encouragement and guidance can really help a young person learn to get along with people. Another way to say this, is that by encountering kids who are "different" a child learns to see past those differences and become friends. Learning to relate like this makes it much easier to make friends later in life.
Developing Creativity: Most summer camps provide numerous opportunities to make things, to practice different crafts, and to explore the arts. From woodworking, to fiber arts, to ceramics, to knitting, to blacksmithing, and so on, there are fantastic ways to be creative. Plus, kids are encouraged to try new things, to not worry about how "good" they are, and to be excited about the process of participating. Everyone realizes that we can create some pretty cool stuff if we give it a try.
Self-Confidence: Summer camps are supportive places, communities where everyone will look out for each other, and usually encourage each other. This kind of positive peer relationship is the perfect recipe for trying new things and being proud of your accomplishments. Kids might think they won't be able to do something (like climb a ropes course, for example), but when they try and succeed, it's strong evidence that they can do it. Doubt is transformed into bravery, fear into confidence, and the result is an enhanced sense of self-worth.
Independence: It's almost inevitable when a child goes to camp and sleeps away from home, away from the watchful eye of his or her parents- she will gain greater independence. Kids at camp make a lot of their own decisions, make choices about what to do, how to behave, and how to spend their free time. Of course, they also get to see the consequences of their choices too, and when it's their choice and not their parents, those consequences are all the more meaningful.
Being suddenly responsible for their own choices, is a very formative experience in a growing habit of independence.
Social Etiquette: Being around so many people and interacting with them so closely day after day, summer camps also require kids to develop certain social skills. Sharing, recognizing others' interests, dealing with arguments, showing empathy, being kind, offering to help, making honest suggestions- all of these are key ingredients. Every quality summer camp will create an environment where all of this is fostered and taught.
Of course most of these areas can develop at home and at school during the year, but summer camp provides an opportunity to practice these qualities, develop these aspects of a child's personality, and further develop the mature skill that make them effective. It's really remarkable how powerful the summer camp experience is in this regard. Sure it's fun, but it can also be so crucially formative too.
Jeffrey Carter is the Director of Rockbrook Summer Camp for Girls, a traditional girls summer camp located in Brevard, NC. He publishes the summer camp blog "The Heart of a Wooded Mountain."
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeffrey_R_Carter
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Free Play Is A Key To Children's Success
Are you ever frustrated by your child's inability to focus?
One way to prepare a child for a learning time is to allow for free exploration before the scheduled "learning time".
This allows the child to get a feel for his/her environment; helping to satisfy curiosity, become familiar and comfortable with the surroundings.
Another reason why free play is so important is it helps the child to make the connection that there are multiple ways to learn something with more than one material, thus forcing their senses and abilities to be challenged.
In "Free Play" children learn from other children. This is a great way to reinforce learning, too. As well, it helps him/her to discover alternative uses for different types of materials, and children are able to decide whether or not he/she wants to participate with others.
Free Play often gives a child the opportunity to discover sorting, counting, patterns, geometry, measurement, balance, comparisons of color, shape, size, weight, sound and other details.
Free Play allows your child to experience self confidence because there is no "right" or "wrong".
They can feel acceptance just for playing, which is a crucial element to healthy self-esteem.
Free Play also allows for conversation; they can talk about ideas they have, problem solve together, and discuss the limitations of the materials in use.
The Free Time experience prepares a child to be directed in more formal learning later.
Free Time also benefits parents, caregivers, and teachers.
We are able to observe how and the degree a child challenges him/herself and their level of tolerance when performing a challenging task. (how frustrated does one become if is doesn't work out the first/second/third time.)
We are also privy to watch children interact with their peers. What difficulties they may have or whether they can verbalize their needs/wants.
This allows us to see what the child does when not trying"to please" us and help identify if the child is self-directed, prefers collaborated situations, or is amiable.
Therefore, Free time allows us to see and identify our children's skills and developmental stage.
I really wanted to share with you my thoughts because sometimes free play gets underrated and minimized. Without the accessibility of "free play" our children's skills can be weakened, motivation deterred, and proper analysis of developmental stage can be missed.
One way to prepare a child for a learning time is to allow for free exploration before the scheduled "learning time".
This allows the child to get a feel for his/her environment; helping to satisfy curiosity, become familiar and comfortable with the surroundings.
Another reason why free play is so important is it helps the child to make the connection that there are multiple ways to learn something with more than one material, thus forcing their senses and abilities to be challenged.
In "Free Play" children learn from other children. This is a great way to reinforce learning, too. As well, it helps him/her to discover alternative uses for different types of materials, and children are able to decide whether or not he/she wants to participate with others.
Free Play often gives a child the opportunity to discover sorting, counting, patterns, geometry, measurement, balance, comparisons of color, shape, size, weight, sound and other details.
Free Play allows your child to experience self confidence because there is no "right" or "wrong".
They can feel acceptance just for playing, which is a crucial element to healthy self-esteem.
Free Play also allows for conversation; they can talk about ideas they have, problem solve together, and discuss the limitations of the materials in use.
The Free Time experience prepares a child to be directed in more formal learning later.
Free Time also benefits parents, caregivers, and teachers.
We are able to observe how and the degree a child challenges him/herself and their level of tolerance when performing a challenging task. (how frustrated does one become if is doesn't work out the first/second/third time.)
We are also privy to watch children interact with their peers. What difficulties they may have or whether they can verbalize their needs/wants.
This allows us to see what the child does when not trying"to please" us and help identify if the child is self-directed, prefers collaborated situations, or is amiable.
Therefore, Free time allows us to see and identify our children's skills and developmental stage.
I really wanted to share with you my thoughts because sometimes free play gets underrated and minimized. Without the accessibility of "free play" our children's skills can be weakened, motivation deterred, and proper analysis of developmental stage can be missed.
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